definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
