I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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