last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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