We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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