just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
