I wanna bring you to show and tell
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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