just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
