How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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