you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
