found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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