Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my shit smells like andre
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize