i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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