People in love make me want to vomit
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
