are you so shy because you have an std?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
