Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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