well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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