Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
