is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Boobs are out for the taking
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
