Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
