I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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