Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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