When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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