After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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