Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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