The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
