please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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