i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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