What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
