my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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