best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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