So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
