I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
