Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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