2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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