So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
