Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
