So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
