if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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