The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
