so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
