Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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