There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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