so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
