You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
