Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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