I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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