She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
