Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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