i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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