in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
