He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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