I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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