dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
