why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
