"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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