I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize