I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize