we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
