he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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