Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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