He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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