pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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