Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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