ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize