Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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