the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
