I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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