We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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