So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
