I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
