I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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