if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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