So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize