id be glad to
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
