I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize