I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
