Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
