carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
