Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
