I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my poor anus
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
