Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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