wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
