At least make sure they are 18
Why
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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