How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
