Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
my poor anus
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
