i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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