Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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