Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
