Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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