i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
