hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize