Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
