tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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