When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
