He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
