batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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